Mommy's First Trip

I have previously written that while on maternity leave I was promoted to a job I love working for one of the best bosses I could ask for.  Several weeks following the exciting promotion news, came some (at the time) not so good news.  I would be making a trip to MN February 15-17 for a team meeting.  Having not even yet experienced my first day back at work at that point, those 3 days were like marking doomsday down on the calendar!!! After I got back into the swing of things at work, and the trip loomed closer, I was still having some MAJOR anxiety, but to be perfectly honest, all of the anxiety was balanced with a little bit of optimism on how awesome it would be to sleep more than 3 consecutive hours and meet my new team (aka interact with intellects in a forum other than con call).

Fast forward to last Tuesday (the day before the trip).  I literally called Marty and told him that I felt like not enough air was getting to my lungs when I would think about leaving the next day!  Can we say anxiety attack!?!?  After drafting a 3 page memorandum to Marty and our nanny, I was feeling a tiny bit better.  I had also been pumping 4-6 oz of extra milk per day for MONTHS in preparation for the trip.  I had never really added up all of the milk in my freezer stockpile, so on Tuesday night when I went to organize Henry's milk for my days away, I was relieved (and felt a little crazy) to discover I had built up a SEVERAL HUNDRED OZ supply.  Am I the only one who looks at all of that pumped milk like some major accomplishment/my prized possession?!?  After packaging up roughly 40 oz per day for while I would be gone, I was starting to feel a little bit better knowing Henry wouldn't starve...

In order to not bore you with the minute by minute run down of my little jaunt, here is a summary of my experience and reflections:

1.  The first day (maybe even the first 4-6 hours) away are BY FAR the hardest.  And while they were hard, they were not nearly as hard as I had imagined in my head.  By the second day, and in the theme of total honesty, I almost felt badly for how easy it was to be away.  Even though I missed Henry terribly, I no longer felt like I had left an appendage in Houston.

2.  Perhaps the trip was easier due to all of the borderline psychotic measures of preparation I went through before leaving.  The 3 page instruction manual, all of the pumped milk, oh....and we can't forget the webcam I installed in Henry's crib (with accompanying iPhone application that even includes sound) so I could check in on my little guy whenever I got the urge.

3.  Pumping at work/on the go is a pain.  If I had to go into the office every single day (or routinely pump on the toilet seat of a dirty airport bathroom), I would probably be far less committed to my 12 month breastfeeding goal.  But I am so grateful to the MN Lobby Ambassador (yes that is what we call them) who set me up this homemade lactation room that was ready and waiting upon my arrival!  How sweet!  And slightly embarrassing, in my male dominant workplace!  

4.  Rule #1:  "Do not show your co workers 1,000,000 baby pictures and talk incessantly about said baby."  Fail.

5.  It felt awesome to put on a real work outfit (not my typical work from home "Lululemon on the bottom, blazer on top, video call ready combo").  And my how nicely my diaper bag transitioned into a laptop bag.

6.  Facetime is awesome! So awesome that I noticed Henry had a little scratch on his forehead.  Let it be known he does not get forehead scratches under my watch Daddy!

7.  I was reminded how much I really do enjoy my job.

8.  So as to not feel like the absentee mother, I got the awesome idea to write Henry a letter and drop it in the mail so it would be postmarked from my travel destination.  I decided I will make this a tradition for anytime I have to travel and compile them all in a little book for Henry.  (As a side note, I shared this brilliant plan with my coworker who retorted "Sure, you'll do this for your first kid, maybe your second, but the third will join a gang").  So off I went writing and stamping my sweet letter, only to LEAVE the letter behind in my hotel room upon check out!  Oops!   I re-wrote a shortened version on a post card in the airport and patted myself on the back for coming up with this fantastic tradition!

9.  Traveling in high heels is STILL the dumbest idea ever.  As is suggesting your husband pick you up from the airport in pouring rain, during rush hour, which coincides with your baby's bedtime, just because you missed them and want to see them 30 minutes sooner than if you took a taxi.  Instead of that giant gummy smile that you expected to be greeted with upon your return, you will be endure 40 straight minutes of screaming en route home.

10.  We all survived!  And while my career goals have had to shift to require a less stringent travel schedule, it is 150% absolutely doable to be an awesome Mommy and have an awesome career too!  I love that baby boy and missed him every minute, but it worked because as EE Cummings so perfectly said "I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart."